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A Sixty and Me essay identifies “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but” as phrases worth reconsidering because of how the author says they affect motivation, self-talk and relationships. The piece is personal advice and does not present research proving that avoiding these words produces particular outcomes.
Sixty and Me has published a personal essay urging readers to reconsider six familiar phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—arguing that habitual language can shape motivation, self-perception and relationships. The article offers examples and alternative wording, but it is the author’s advice and experience, not a report of scientific findings or a formal rule about language.
The essay’s author says a coaching exercise helped her identify limiting beliefs and replace them with affirming statements. She describes making regular morning calls with a distant partner for about seven years to share and encourage those statements, and says both saw progress in their personal and professional lives. The source presents this as her account, rather than evidence from a measured study.
One example concerns the phrase “I’ll try.” The author describes her son Joel’s experience with weight loss and changes to his daily routine during the pandemic. She says he lost 35 pounds over six months after the family began taking daily walks and had fewer convenience foods and drinks at home. She encourages him to say “I will” rather than “I’ll try,” interpreting the latter as leaving room for failure. The account does not establish that a change in wording caused the weight loss.
The remaining advice focuses on how statements can frame choices and interactions. The author says “can’t” may hide a choice, while “always” and “never” can turn specific frustrations into sweeping judgments. She suggests replacing “if only” with language that recognizes an opportunity in present circumstances. She calls “but” a “verbal eraser,” offering “and” as an alternative when a qualification might otherwise undercut praise, affection or an apology.
How Everyday Phrases Shape Conversations
The article’s relevance lies in its practical focus on language people use in everyday self-talk and conversation. A person who says “you always” or “you never” may turn one incident into a broad accusation; changing that wording can make a complaint more specific. Similarly, replacing “I can’t” with a clear description of what happened or what choice was made may help someone discuss the situation more accurately.
Those are communication suggestions, not guaranteed outcomes. The essay does not show that avoiding these phrases will change a person’s health, relationships or success. Readers can treat the examples as prompts to notice whether a familiar expression reflects what they mean, while recognizing that circumstances and constraints may be real. “Can’t,” for example, can accurately describe an inability rather than an excuse.
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The Essay’s Coaching Origins
The author places the advice within a broader account of affirmations and limiting beliefs. She recalls a friend whose fiancé reportedly removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance; the couple, she says, remained married more than 40 years later. The anecdote illustrates the author’s view that words carry emotional weight, but it is not evidence that removing a word caused the couple’s long marriage.
The article also begins by distinguishing its suggestions from avoiding swear words. The author says she chose to limit swearing in her usual vocabulary, partly because she wanted to be creative with language and because children may repeat what adults say. The main list, however, concerns phrases she believes can discourage growth, distort responsibility or weaken a message. Its six entries combine personal reflection, family examples and proposed substitutions.
Evidence Behind the Language Advice
The supplied article does not cite studies testing whether avoiding these six expressions improves motivation, relationships or wellbeing. It does not provide details such as the author’s name or the essay’s publication date, and the health-related account of Joel is a personal story without independent confirmation in the material provided. The reported 35-pound loss over six months is the author’s description; the source does not establish a causal link between that change and the wording “I will” rather than “I’ll try.”
The headline, “6 Words You Must Not Say,” also simplifies the content: several entries are phrases or terms, not single words, and the body presents them as expressions to reconsider rather than words that must never be used. The essay does not address cases where “but,” “never” or “can’t” may be accurate or necessary.
Putting the Suggestions to Use
The essay offers no announced follow-up, research project or next formal milestone. Its proposed next step for readers is to notice which phrases they repeat, including in private self-talk, and try wording that better reflects their intent. For instance, a reader might replace a sweeping “you always” with a description of a specific event, or use “and” when both parts of a sentence are true.
Whether those substitutions help will depend on the person and situation; the source reports no reader outcomes or controlled comparison. The practical question it leaves readers with is whether a habitual phrase is accurate and useful—and, if not, what wording communicates the same thought more clearly.
Key Questions
What six phrases does the essay recommend reconsidering?
The essay lists “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” Its headline calls them words, although some are phrases.
Does the article prove these phrases harm motivation or relationships?
No. The supplied piece offers personal experiences and advice, but cites no research establishing that avoiding the phrases produces particular results.
What does the author suggest saying instead of “if only”?
The author proposes: “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.” She presents it as a way to focus on present circumstances.
Did the source link Joel’s weight loss to changing his words?
The author describes Joel losing 35 pounds over six months after changes to the family’s routine and food environment, then discusses his use of “I’ll try.” The account does not establish that changing his wording caused the weight loss.
Source: sixtyandme.com
